My last (and indeed first) blog was in February. During this time, I have completed my highers, begun my next set of highers, accepted my Mum as a friend on Facebook, accepted Brodie as a friend, celebrated Chinese New Year, seen my elder brother go off to live with 4 Chinese blokes, and generally broadened my horizons as a human being.
Today, however, I intend to do something that will in fact narrow said horizons. Today, I shall be talking about Tumblr. For those of you fortunate enough not to have had to endure the constant photos of John Lennon, skinny girls in checkered shirts or overweight girls with the word 'Pain' etched onto their forearms, allow me to explain. Tumblr's sole purpose on our Earth is to let users put photos up. Theres nothing wrong with that, you may say. Unfortunately, as a rule, Tumblr users are total cunts. Most of them have long hair, and attempt to grow beards before they have hit puberty. Many of them write their own songs, usually about how their parents don't understand them, and how that the world would be so much better if it was ruled by vegetarians/women/the poor/the disabled. Users of Tumblr (Hereon referred to as 'Tumblcunts'), are often so far up their own backside, they make Ricky Gervais look like fucking Gandhi.
Tumblcunts believe themselves to be 'Indie' and 'Hip', because they read the NME every week. As a result, they will have inane quotes along the lines of 'People that call you ugly are the ugliest people of all'. Unfortunately, these quotes not only give ugly people incredible false hope, it also serves to get other Tumblcunts in an unabated frenzy of excitement, as at last, they have found someone unique. Just like them.
Tumblcunts music taste is generally reserved to The Beatles, obscure American guitar bands who don't have a record deal because 'Music is from the soul' (In reality, because a dying industry can't afford to prop up utter shite like them), and The Smiths. If you like, say, dubstep, you will be chastised as a brainwashed modern child, and your opinion on all matters, be they musical or not, will be irrelevant. After all 'Music shouldn't be made on a computer, man'.
Politically, the Tumblcunts are very much out of their depth. Many turn to Che Guevara, as having his face on their wall makes them seem individual, just as it does on everyone elses Tumblr page. The right wing is an obvious no no (After all, having a picture of Maggie Thatcher on your dashboard will never, ever, be cool), and Nick Clegg is about as popular as Cervical Cancer at the moment, meaning that most simply stick to the line that the bands that they worship so much use: 'All politicians are cunts'. Around 65% of Tumblcunts, you will doubtless be shocked to know, are unemployed. Probably.
To sum up, almost every single person with Tumblr, only uses it because they have an image to maintain. Tumblrs absence of any practical use ensures that it will never become a Facebook, or a Twitter, where normal people swarm in and ruin the websites indieness, meaning that it is a website populated only by people just like Morrissey. Who are unique. Obviously.
Thats the end of this now. Once more, I owe writing this blog to extreme boredom and insomnia, so please do not hope for another one. Thats if you enjoyed reading it. Being perfectly honest, I dont know if it was enjoyable or not, but ah well. Feel free to comment and shit, but if anyone ever says 'I just saw your blog' I will have to fucking kill them. If you were offended by anything I've said, or insinuated in the above text, I urge you to man the fuck up and deal with it. Thanks.
